I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
