He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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