can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
