No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
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And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
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I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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