New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
