I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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