so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
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Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
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Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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