I hate all girls vehemently.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
