just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize