Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
