dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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