Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
