I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
