I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize