booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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