you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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