Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
