just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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