I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
