Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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