I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize