What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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