I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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