The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
