Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
