You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
