just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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