I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
