he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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