One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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