i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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