i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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