Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Randomize
Follow @tfln