you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳