Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI

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(415): I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI http://tfl.nu/f789

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(646): View more from New York

I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.

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(646): I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister. http://tfl.nu/fqyo

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(303): View more from Colorado

erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on

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(303): erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on http://tfl.nu/r4c1

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(305): View more from Florida

I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.

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(305): I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner. http://tfl.nu/42gn

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.

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(405): Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever. http://tfl.nu/hc2j

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.

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(860): I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination. http://tfl.nu/f55n

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.

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(404): I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious. http://tfl.nu/jbo1

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(303): View more from Colorado

Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.

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(303): Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with. http://tfl.nu/dbx0

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(631): View more from New York

She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?

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(631): She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that? http://tfl.nu/dqln

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(440): View more from Ohio

Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.

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(440): Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car. http://tfl.nu/ebaa

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(314): View more from Missouri

Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business

(314): View more from Missouri

Way to promote small business.

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(314): Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business (314): Way to promote small business. http://tfl.nu/n30m

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian

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(204): Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian http://tfl.nu/540t

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....

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(202): Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed.... http://tfl.nu/91um

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(815): View more from Illinois

One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.

(1-815): View more from Illinois

Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.

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(815): One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day. (1-815): Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar. http://tfl.nu/0cqf

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen

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(412): with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen http://tfl.nu/zqf6

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