what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.