Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
