Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
