I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
