this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
