These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
