all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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