Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
