And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
