So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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