someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
