Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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