I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
