Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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