Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize