yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My vagina just recognized that song.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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