its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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