I smell stomach acid.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think your dad took our porno
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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