How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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