Fine. I'll sleep in my office
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
