Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
