i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
