Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
