I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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